Man Vs. Vibrator

Having sex is a very important part of a relationship. I’ve been with guys who are totally against sex toys and others who are all about it. It really just depends.

One ex of mine really hated the fact that I was even considering buying a vibrator. His argument was that if I used it, it would eventually ruin our sex life and he would never be able to perform better than a piece of plastic. Unfortunately for him, he was right about not being better than plastic. His statement also got me thinking, do women like vibrators more than we let on?

So I asked 25 women one (not so) simple question:

Which one performs better in bed? A man or a vibrator? And why?

Those For Man

Good job guys, some women prefer men over sex toys. I did notice from the women who chose men, a lot of them were in serious relationships.

These are just some of the things they had to say: 

“I choose a man for the intimacy for sure, plus I really don’t masturbate.”

“Intimacy over plastic.”

“I’ve never had an amazing thing, but I’ve had an amazing man.”

“I like the physical touch and the element of surprise. Vibrators kinda get old. It’s the same thing.”

“Well, honestly I’ve never owned a dildo or anything. I’m a romantic and I like the interaction.”

“Using a vibrator is like the same thing over and over and it gets a bit boring.”

“Man for sure! It’s too much work doing it all on your own.”

Those For Vibrator

Don’t get me wrong guys, you probably do a fine job in bed, but sometimes good just doesn’t cut it (and by good I mean mediocre at best). For the ladies who went with the vibrator, it was a toss-up as to whether they were single or in somewhat of a not so serious relationship. Either way, it’s important to note that this is where I placed my vote (for the time being).

Here’s why some women prefer vibrators:

“So it depends on the end goal. Bonding and experiencing a connection with someone is more important to me than getting off, but if we are talking about getting off…vibrator every time.”

“Vibrators do it better! They aren’t as much of a pain in the ass either.”

“So much more efficient!”

“It gets the job done better and can do things most men can’t do.”

“Sure, sex with a man is great, but I don’t always want to sleep with someone new every time I want to get off.”

The Other Responses

Now I get it, it’s hard to choose between the two, which is why I created this category for the people that couldn’t really make up their minds, or for the ones that didn’t have a strong opinion about the issue.

“Throwing in a curveball: Nothing does the trick better than my two hands, find me a man or a vibrator that can make me cum more than once and I’ll never complain again.”

“I’ve never used a vibrator or any kind of sex toy, so I guess I really don’t have an opinion as of right now.”

“I’ve never been huge on vibrators, I usually do a better job myself.”

“I don’t own a vibrator, but I mean man rarely works either.”

The Final Vote

Man: 14

Vibrator: 7

Other: 4

My Conclusion

Sure, sure, the male population wins this time. To the guys who think they are and always will be superior to sex toys, calm down. Just because more women preferred a man over a vibrator doesn’t mean you can get lazy in bed and not put forth the effort. The same goes for women as well! No one wants to have sex with a moaning starfish or some guy who makes really awkward faces.

The end…now go have some mind-blowing sex or something.

What To Do On Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

Valentine’s Day is a week away, and for some, that means stress eating chocolate and loads of self-loathing. Stop right there!

Not that chocolate isn’t delicious, but it will be a lot cheaper and you will indulge in less of it if you just sit back and wait until February 15th. When it comes to all of that self-loathing, take a step back and think about why you are so unhappy on this Hallmark holiday.

Do you wish you were in a meaningful relationship?

Are you hoping to be surrounded by love?

Chances are, you already have both and just haven’t been paying attention. Sure, it might suck to be single when what you really want is a relationship. Everything in life happens for a reason and when the time is right, everything else will fall into place. 

Instead of hating the entire 24 hours that is Valentine’s Day, celebrate it by doing a few of these things.

Spend Time With Friends

Call up your homies right now!

I know it sounds silly, but spending time with friends who are also single make the day a lot more fun. Plan a big Galentine’s Day party filled with dinner and drinks or have it a little more lowkey with yoga pants, a bottle of wine and a couple of good movies that make you laugh (don’t watch the sad sappy love movies, they will make you hate yourself even more).

Give A Gift To Someone You Love

Giving is always better than receiving (well…not always, but you get the point).

Even taking the time to buy a couple dozen flowers for friends or making some homemade cards can lighten the mood of not having a plus one. Also, you won’t have to worry about getting the perfect gift because they’re your friends and they love you regardless.

Treat Yourself

If you have some extra time between now and Valentine’s Day, do you!

Go get a pedicure, go buy those shoes you’ve been staring at online or just buy something to remind yourself that you’re worth it.

Pleasure Yourself

Yes, you read that correctly.

There’s nothing wrong with owning a couple of items that make you feel good sexually. Consider adding some toys to your nightstand immediately. Whether it’s a new vibrator, dildo, handcuffs, or whatever, chances are your supply cabinet is probably old (and crusty) and you are overdue for an upgrade.

If you aren’t planning to buy any sex toys in the future, find other ways to release that “being single” stress.

Focus On The Wonderful Things You Do Have

So you aren’t in a relationship, big freaking deal.

More than likely you have a roof over your head, clothes that you like wearing, a career that inspires you, and the love and support from family and friends. Stay positive on Valentine’s Day. Keep focusing on the parts of your life that make you the happiest and remember that the best is yet to come.

You might not have someone this year, but that’s okay! Love yourself first and that loving relationship will follow. 

What I Learned From Relationships in 2017

Oh 2017, what a year.

I went into those 365 days thinking it would be another year to kick some serious ass. Unfortunately, 2017 decided to kick mine and teach me a thing or two about the person I needed to be.  

Of the many experiences and lessons learned throughout the year, I was constantly reminded to never settle in any relationship, whether intimate or platonic.

I hate to sound so lame, but without losing love and struggling to overcome that loss, I don’t think I would have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and on to better opportunities.

From all of the lessons I learned in 2017, here are a few that really stuck out:

Crying Over Ugly Guys Won’t Make You Prettier

Let me say it again for the people in the back!

Crying might be a great temporary stress reliever, but continuously crying won’t help you grow as a human being and it won’t help you close that terrible chapter of your life.

Wipe up those tears, get over whoever or whatever you are crying over and move the hell on already.

Revisiting the same old sad feelings won’t change the situation and no one wants to be around a sad person who is upset over someone who isn’t even worth their time.

It’s a bad look. Crying or worrying about an ugly person (whether inside or out) is just stupid.

People Will Continue To Put Themselves First

I’m not saying being selfish is a bad thing, but when people promise to show up in your life and take ownership for their actions, some will always find a way to make it all about their problems and their schedule. 

It might not be entirely their fault that they’ve let you down, but it is your fault if you continue to let that person negatively impact your mental health in any way, shape or form.

Just Because Your Bed Is Warm, Doesn’t Mean Your Heart Is

Loneliness sucks and everyone craves that human interaction once in a while, but be wary of the types of people you use to fill the void with. 

Sure, it might be great for a few weeks or a couple of months, but if your heart isn’t in it, you’re only causing more issues for yourself down the road, and eventually, you will start to feel even worse about not having a real companion.

Openly Laugh At Yourself When You Do Something Stupid

You’re going to mess up in life, and that’s okay, but don’t take yourself so damn seriously all of the time. Make a joke out of life’s obstacles and you’ll find that it’s easier to overcome them. Take a deep breath and realize that you don’t have to stress over everything little thing.

Life Goes On

The plans you made up in your mind may or may not happen, and again, that’s life. At times things may seem bad, but soon you’ll look back and wonder why it was such a big deal in the first place.

5 Reasons To Celebrate Being Single During The Holidays

It can be hard for a single person to enjoy the holidays as they watch all the happy couples snuggle by the fireplace.

If you’re single during the holidays, don’t for a second start to think that you’re less of a person. There are many perks to being single; you just may be too blind to notice them all.

Raise your glass and repeat after me, I’m single and I’m proud of it!

If that doesn’t make you feel a little bit better about your relationship status, I’m sure a few of these benefits will.

You Won’t Have To Stress About Meeting The Parents

Don’t worry about being asked when you’re getting married or having babies!

The holidays are that awkward time of the year when families want to meet significant others or when significant others want you to travel home with them to meet their family. Not only can the Meet the Parents scenario be stressful for people in relationships, but it can put more pressure on how the relationship moves forward.

Lucky for single people, there is no stress! You won’t be stressing over what to wear or worrying about making sure his or her parents like you.

You Won’t Be Compromising Your Holiday Time or Traditions

This also means you won’t have to go to those awkward Christmas parties.

The holidays are a time for celebrating old family traditions and doing things that get you into the holiday spirit. When you’re in a relationship, a lot of those traditions may be compromised because couples have to split their time between families.

Forget all of that! Instead, you can focus on what you want to do and what events or occasions to attend. If that means sitting inside drinking hot chocolate and watching Netflix, then so be it! It’s better than being dragged around doing things you don’t want to do.

You’ll Be Saving Some Much Needed Money

All that extra money can stay in your bank account.

Most people already have a long list of people to shop for during the holidays, and if someone is in a relationship, they now have to add at least one more person to that list (not to mention the significant other’s family members).

For couples, that shopping list can add up fast, but when you’re single, all of that extra money can go into treating yourself.

It’s also important to point out that you won’t be stressing out over what romantic gifts to get your partner or worrying about how to fake love the gift your partner gave you that you absolutely hate.

It’s The Perfect Season For Holiday Hookups

Don’t forget, there are a lot of lonely people this time of year.

No matter what season, people are always looking for love. During the holiday season though, that search can intensify.

Whether you want to get your freak on or go on a couple of dates, know that the option is readily available. You won’t have to worry about meeting the parents or getting them a gift either (unless that gift is sex)!

You Can Drink As Much As You Want Without Being Judged

One eggnog? How about ten!

There seems to be a lot of special holiday cocktails served around this time of year. Normally when you’re with your significant other, you have to worry about getting too drunk around his or her family members, but when you’re single, none of that matters.

Single people are more likely to spend the holidays with their immediate family, which means excessive drinking is okay (depending on your family).

Single people can enjoy as much alcohol as they can handle without the repercussions of a significant other or a significant other’s family judging the hell out of them.

The holidays are worth so much more than freaking out over being alone. Appreciate the friends and family you have in your life and enjoy the holidays with the ones you love most.

What To Wear On A First Date

A first date is your first chance to make a lasting impression that will hopefully pave the way for a second, or maybe even third date. Thanks to all of the pressure tied to meeting someone new, many people get nervous and overcomplicate the entire process.

From picking a place to eat, to deciding on what to wear, sometimes it can feel like there’s no good call to make (which is stressful!).

The last thing you should be focusing on while on a date, is how uncomfortable your outfit is making you feel or how it might be considered too revealing in certain areas.

Follow these tips, and you’ll be looking fantastic every time you go out, and hopefully, you’ll stop worrying about what to wear on your next date.

Go Back To Basics

I like to think that what you wear says a lot about your personality. Since I’m known for wearing some pretty outrageous outfits while out with friends, on a first date I like to tone down my style and keep it really plain and simple.

first date outfit
Photographed by Courtney Sue Miller

Try mixing and matching basic tops or bottoms with a statement piece in your closet to tie the entire outfit together. What I love most about this outfit is that it’s comfortable and cute, and (most importantly) doesn’t make me look like I tried super hard to get ready.

It’s important to look and feel good on a date, but don’t go overboard! You could send the wrong message that you’re either extremely high maintenance or kind of a hoe.

Wear Something That Won’t Slide Around

Nothing is worse than wearing a really cute dress or skirt that keeps riding up or keeps exposing you in ways you aren’t ready to show your date yet.

I like to stick with outfits that I can either tie in place or pieces I know won’t move around while I’m out and about with my date.

first date outfit
Photographed by Courtney Sue Miller

This dress has a basic pattern that makes it easy to dress up or down using the right accessories. It also manages to keep me covered in all the right places and I never have to worry about anything falling or moving out of place.

For Future Dates

Don’t forget to keep it casual. Unless you’re going out somewhere fancy that requires an outfit that will turn heads, wear jeans and shirts you know you look good in and stop worrying about what your date thinks. Trust me, after a certain point in time, he’ll care less about what clothes you have on your body and more about how he can take those clothes off.