What To Be Aware Of On Single Awareness Day

From here on out, can we all stop referring to Valentine’s Day as Single Awareness Day? Seriously, stop wallowing around in self-pity and start being proud that you’re single. There’s literally nothing wrong with you.  

It could be that you’re not ready to date someone because you have other priorities to take care of first, or you just haven’t found the right person yet. Both reasons are totally fine, so please, don’t take it out on the happy couples this year. Instead, keep it positive and remind yourself of all of the benefits that come with being single and 100% aware.

You Don’t Need To Be In A Relationship To Be “Complete”

The people who enter your life may complement it in certain ways, but they will never complete it.

That feeling of being complete comes from within. Stop looking for happiness in a partner and start bettering your life for you, and you alone. Soon you’ll figure out what makes you feel truly complete without the presence of another person. 

Being In A Relationship Doesn’t Equal Happiness

If you are ever feeling sad about being single, remind yourself of this every single time.

Sure, the happy couples on the internet may seem like soulmates or the ultimate “power couples” (vomit), but honestly, you’re only seeing that one aspect of their relationship. Reminder: They are only showing you the great things about their relationship, not the arguments or pet peeves they deal with on a daily basis. 

Think about the last relationship you were in. Were you 100% over the moon happy when you were with that person? Probably not. Find your happiness elsewhere because not only will it be more rewarding, it also won’t be dependent on another person who can rip that so-called happiness away from you at any given moment. 

Being In A Rush To Find Someone Will Only Make Things Worse

Only fools rush in.

Falling in love is stupid. Point blank. Finding someone and developing a relationship with that person over time is the way to go. Instead of rushing the process, and hoping to find that special someone as soon as possible, enjoy it and laugh at all of the stupid things that happen along the way.

It will be a more enjoyable journey, and you’ll be able to better appreciate your next relationship if you take the time to slow down and experience the dating scene (as much as it may suck at times).

There Is Absolutely Nothing Wrong With Being Single

All the single ladies, put your hands up!

Worrying about what other people are doing won’t make you a better person, and relying on someone else to make you happy won’t make you any happier. Having that single status is a chance to breathe a fresh breath of air and enjoy a life full of fewer responsibilities and fewer worries.

Savor this season of romance with chocolates and flowers and fall in love with the most important person around, you!

How To Not F*CK Up Valentine’s Day In Three Easy Steps

Ahhhh Valentine’s Day. The guaranteed one day of the year where society reminds single people that they most definitely are single and alone.

Sure, it may suck being single, but imagine being in a relationship where your significant other doesn’t make you feel special on Valentine’s Day. 

First off, dump that person (LOL but really).

Secondly, be sure to drop hints about how fast February 14th is approaching.

It’s super easy to buy flowers or some stupid chocolates, yet somehow people still manage to f*ck even that up. So to help you out and prevent you from having another argument with your partner, follow these three simple steps.

Step One: Communicate With Your Partner

What is your partner’s language of love? Do they enjoy receiving gifts or would they rather spend quality time with you on Valentine’s Day? This is the time for you to figure it out, and figure it out fast!

If you know how your partner gives and receives love, then you should have no problem knowing whether you should buy flowers or make a nice dinner. 

(Pro Tip: Do both!)

If they absolutely hate the idea of receiving chocolates or some other kind of heart-shaped item, be sure to find another way to make them feel special. 

You don’t have to have anything officially planned in this step of the process, but in your mind, have a couple of ideas on how to go above and beyond in even the simplest of ways.

Step Two: Don’t Wait Until The Last Minute

So you’ve decided your partner’s language of love, good for you!

The first step is easy because it involves zero planning. Step two is a little bit more complicated because you actually have to do something.

And as you can imagine, this is the part where people start to screw up.

If you know in advance that you’d like to go out for a nice dinner, be sure to make those reservations at least two weeks before the big day. Do not, I repeat, do not wait until the day before to start making plans. If you do, you’ll quickly notice that every place in town is either fully booked or sold out for the evening and you’ll be out of luck. 

This year, make your plans early and dedicate some time to actually making the day special (since there’s a good chance you don’t make anything really special the other 364 days out of the year).  

Did you know that scheduling a flower or chocolate delivery in late January can sometimes be cheaper than if you were to wait literally 24 hours before? Be smart, be an adult, and don’t let Valentine’s Day creep up on you like it has in the past. 

Step Three: Spend Quality Time Together

This is a no-brainer, yet many people get so bogged down with their daily lives that they forget to make quality time a top priority.  

Get back to what made the two of you special and have fun being alone together. Don’t forget to turn off all of your electronics and just get back to the basics of your relationship (or get busy, whatever you decide). 

Although Valentine’s Day may seem like a Hallmark holiday, use it as a reminder to love all of the people you have in your life and be sure to love that special someone as well.

What Really Happens If You Fool Around With Your Best Guy Friend

Lord knows I never wanted to write this post, but here I am again putting myself out there. It can definitely be tricky navigating a friendship once you’ve gotten physical with that person. As two grown adults, I think we’ve been great at maintaining our friendship and being open about what we want when things do get intimate.

This kind of “friends with benefits” or “no strings attached” thing definitely isn’t for everyone. And trust me, I literally never thought I would be in this situation myself.

If you’re thinking about hooking up with your best friend of the opposite sex or wanting to jump out of that friend zone completely, there are a couple of things you should know. 

This is how my “friends with benefits” scenario started and how my best guy friend and I still maintain it to this day.

The Back Story…

I met this guy back in Spanish class in college and we instantly hit it off as friends. Back then, we would hang out just the two of us every week and either go to the gym, cook dinner or just hang out around town doing the stupid shit that friends do.

I was in a serious relationship at the time, so the thought of being attracted to him never crossed my mind and he never showed any interest in me, so life was good.

It wasn’t until my breakup that he and I started getting a little flirty, but it still wasn’t enough for me to get that friend vibe out of my head.

The night he picked me up drunk from a party, after being stranded by a friend, things started to change. I was intoxicated beyond belief and started saying things that I would soon regret the following morning. As I went to pass out on his couch, he offered me his bed to sleep in, with the catch being that he would be sleeping in it as well.

For sure I thought we would cross the line that night, and in that moment, I totally wanted to get physical. Unfortunately for my ego and sex drive, he shut me down so fast that I decided to never talk about that night again. The friend zone was where he had put me and it was probably best for me to stay there for a long, long time.

Fast Forward…

We lost touch a little bit after graduation, but once we got over that initial hump, our friendship went right back to where it once was. We continued to talk about life, relationships, and most importantly, sex. Since we already knew each other so well, sex was just another topic we joked about, and our talks also sort of helped us maneuver through our failing relationships at the time.

Everything was still so much on the friend side of things, that it never really got awkward. And if it did, one of us was quick to call the other one out for it.

And Then…

It had been about a year since we last had the chance to hang out in person. 

Naturally, we wanted to see each other since it had been so long. He lived in a city that I had never been to before, so it gave me another reason to get out of town for the weekend.

After going out to dinner and having a blast catching up and goofing around, it came time to decide if I was going to sleep on the couch or if he was going to let me sleep in the same bed as him again. It was almost 4 years since I had made those drunk passes at him, and I was hoping that he had either forgotten about that night or just wasn’t going to bring it up, but of course, we both brought up that night in conversation as we started getting ready for bed. 

There we were, in bed together talking about that time we could have had sex 4 years ago. We started laughing about it and then, well…ya know.

We Communicated

I’m not going to lie, I was extremely nervous. Here I was with this person that I love dearly as a friend, and now this situation is happening so fast, that I can’t even process what is going on.

I was worried we wouldn’t talk again after our encounter and I was worried that he would think less of me as a person for what we both decided to do. Communication was key in this situation. And thankfully, we both majored in communications and were able to put those degrees to work. 

Both of us were able (and comfortable enough) to tell the other person exactly what we were thinking and what we wanted. In doing so, we had a wonderful time and maintained our friendship.

We talked it out (before, during and after) and decided that adding a physical element to our relationship would be okay (which is what I worried about the most).

We’ll See What Happens

We’re still friends and nothing has changed, other than the obvious. Hopefully, we’ll have a chance to hang out again as friends (or whatever you want to call us) sooner rather than later.

What I Learned From Relationships in 2017

Oh 2017, what a year.

I went into those 365 days thinking it would be another year to kick some serious ass. Unfortunately, 2017 decided to kick mine and teach me a thing or two about the person I needed to be.  

Of the many experiences and lessons learned throughout the year, I was constantly reminded to never settle in any relationship, whether intimate or platonic.

I hate to sound so lame, but without losing love and struggling to overcome that loss, I don’t think I would have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and on to better opportunities.

From all of the lessons I learned in 2017, here are a few that really stuck out:

Crying Over Ugly Guys Won’t Make You Prettier

Let me say it again for the people in the back!

Crying might be a great temporary stress reliever, but continuously crying won’t help you grow as a human being and it won’t help you close that terrible chapter of your life.

Wipe up those tears, get over whoever or whatever you are crying over and move the hell on already.

Revisiting the same old sad feelings won’t change the situation and no one wants to be around a sad person who is upset over someone who isn’t even worth their time.

It’s a bad look. Crying or worrying about an ugly person (whether inside or out) is just stupid.

People Will Continue To Put Themselves First

I’m not saying being selfish is a bad thing, but when people promise to show up in your life and take ownership for their actions, some will always find a way to make it all about their problems and their schedule. 

It might not be entirely their fault that they’ve let you down, but it is your fault if you continue to let that person negatively impact your mental health in any way, shape or form.

Just Because Your Bed Is Warm, Doesn’t Mean Your Heart Is

Loneliness sucks and everyone craves that human interaction once in a while, but be wary of the types of people you use to fill the void with. 

Sure, it might be great for a few weeks or a couple of months, but if your heart isn’t in it, you’re only causing more issues for yourself down the road, and eventually, you will start to feel even worse about not having a real companion.

Openly Laugh At Yourself When You Do Something Stupid

You’re going to mess up in life, and that’s okay, but don’t take yourself so damn seriously all of the time. Make a joke out of life’s obstacles and you’ll find that it’s easier to overcome them. Take a deep breath and realize that you don’t have to stress over everything little thing.

Life Goes On

The plans you made up in your mind may or may not happen, and again, that’s life. At times things may seem bad, but soon you’ll look back and wonder why it was such a big deal in the first place.

3 Things That Will Prevent You From Having A One-Night Stand

I’m normally not the type of girl who likes to sleep around, and I’m definitely not the type of girl who goes out to a bar in order to bring someone home, but when about to move to a different state in a matter of days, I figured I had nothing left to lose but my virginity (kidding of course).

My friend pushed me to talk to this very attractive guy at the bar and the rest of it kind of fell into place.

“We had a connection, we were both single, and most importantly, we both weren’t doing anything (or anyone else) later that night.” 

So how can one screw up something that seems like such a done deal after you’ve both agreed to meet you back at your place? If you do any, or all of the things below, just know that you’re pretty much preventing yourself from getting laid.

You Don’t Have A Place To Get It On

You don’t need to have a lavish king-size bed or live in a super nice downtown apartment in order to have sex (although it definitely doesn’t hurt), but you do need to have some kind of place where you can bring someone back. This place also needs to be comfortable enough to where someone would want to open up more (and yes, in that kind of way).

Don’t just assume that a friend’s couch or someone’s car is going to be your ticket to pound town. If you want to have sex, have an acceptable place for it. Not that people haven’t had sex on couches or in cars, but please, have a plan in place before you invite someone back. 

You Aren’t Prepared For Safe Sex

Not having a place to have sex won’t necessarily ruin your chances for having a one-night stand, but forgetting a condom more than likely will. Whether you’ve talked to someone for 5 hours or 5 minutes, at the end of the day, this person doesn’t know your sexual history, and most importantly, you don’t know theirs.

I know, I know, but what if she’s on birth control? Still, even if one of you is on birth control, it still won’t be enough to protect you both from STIs. Do yourself a favor and stock up on condoms or carry one with you in case of emergency.

Complain About Not Getting Laid Because You’re Lacking The Reasons Above

LOL because complaining will help salvage the situation? No, no it won’t.

It’s more than likely your fault for not having a bed to have sex in and not having condoms to have sex with. Stop blaming the other person for not wanting to sleep with you and start blaming yourself for your failed attempt at a one-night stand.

Hopefully, you will take this failure of an experience and learn from it. The next time you plan to bring someone home with hopes of fooling around be more prepared.

Best of luck!